Had an interesting conversation with my brother the other day. Made me step back and consider some things in a way I never had before.

As most of you know I was born into the military Brat life. I spent 17 years in a life style that not many have ever experienced. I moved every two years or so. Had no perception of race or racism. Never really had a best friend. When asked where home was I would always reply 'every where'. I got extremely good at making aquaintances, and adapting to change quickly. My family was always there for me, and they became the one constant in my life. Attending Thanksgiving with a bunch of officers and enlisted guys at the mess was a highlight of November. Dress up consisted of wearing my dad's tanker boots and helmet or wearing BDU's and painting my face and playing guerilla warfare in the backyard.

My extended family remained a distant prescense that I would only see every few years during the summer. I expected to always see new and exotic places. I learned how to understand thick accents. I learned what real patriotism is. I have a love hate relationship with the Navy football team. My dad and I have even engaged in playing practical jokes during football season. One year we even bought a goat.

I became used to being one of the few children at official functions. I had my own gas mask assigned to me and was taught how to put it on in an emergency. I know what a building exploding sounds and feels like. I know what it is like to know that you will be leaving your father in a dangerous country, not knowing if he'll make it back alive, or if the plane they put you on in the middle of the night is going to be destroyed by terrorists. I know what it's like to look outside the window of an airplane and realize you're being escorted by F-16's.

Most of this I remember very clearly. The younger I got the fuzzier the memories get. But this has formed who I am today. I have problems forming close relationships with people, because I've never needed to do that before. I can't stay in contact with people because I've already left so many behind it would be impossible to stay connected with them. I don't have a problem what color or religion you are. But I keenly know the rift that has been develped purposefully between the Officer and enlisted class. As a result I have a very harsh way of viewing people who are considered a different 'class'. I have an insatiable wanderlust, but because my parent's or the military was always there to organize a trip I flip out when I haven't prepared enough for a trip or if I don't have a 'guide'.

I've always considered two of my siblings to have a least a decent understanding of what I've gone through, believing they had gone through it as well. However after speaking with Daniel, I realized he was 10 when my dad left the army, while I was 17. For the majority of the time my dad was in the military he was just a baby! No wonder he doesn't remember much. Then my other sister just doens't talk about it. And the youngest was way too young to remember anything at all.

I'd never felt more alone at that moment, realizing that an experiencing I thought I had shared with my family, was nothing more than just fuzzy memories. Some thing that had so profoundly shaped me, didn't nearly influence them as much. It makes me sad that they can't remember all the amazingly cool things we saw and did. And it makes me sad that we don't have the common experience.

But what can I do? Not much I guess.

So my desktop is in it's final death throes.  I know this for a few reasons... it's making agonizing moaning noises, and my internet is barely functional.  I'm sure I can squeeze a few more months of use out of it, but it would be more trouble than it's worth, reformatting, reinstalling the OS, replacing fans and upgrading some hardware.  I figure my time is better spent driving to a tiny computer store, more like an ubergeek cave, and give them a list of what I want in my new computer and tell them to 'Make it so'.

Hopefully in a week I'll be driving a Cadillac of computers!  I'm quite excited.

I could have built it myself, but I'm busy, I've got class to study and files to prepare for transfer.  These guys will do it for me for $40.  That's a good deal.  And all the parts are at wholesale prices.  Even better.

Farewell my faithful Sony Vaio.  You have served me well.  Parts of you will live on, after I have stripped you for the components...

While driving around the Springs today I was lit up with something so amazing, I am almost giddy with excitement.  Now before I reveal what this is, please don't judge me!  Yes I am a big nerd, geek, fangirl, call me whatever.

So here goes... Ready all you Supernatural fans??

The Great Hunters' Rally.

Starting in Lawrence, Kansas, a cross country road trip with fellow Supernatural freaks attempting to emulate the lifestyle of a hunter.  There will be bars visited, seedy motels, camping in the woods or sleeping in the car.  Seeing America from your car.  All the beautiful places, all the weird roadside attractions.  Historic greasy spoon diners.  And best of all, we will specifically tour known haunted locations.  Maybe even go on an honest to god ghost hunt.

I think if we publicize the hell out of it we can get a decent group to participate.

So I need help to organize this.  I'm shooting for next summer.  Any ideas would be excellent as well.

Who's with me?!

Supernatural season 5 premiered tonight... or I guess last night since it's now 2am. 

I grinned like an idiot during the entire episodes.  There were a few times when I frowned, saying, "What the hell is wrong with Bobby?" and "Holy crap!".  You know, stuff like that.

Then I broke into a fit of giggles when I realized that Dean is now literally a 'tool'.  Granted supposedly a very sharp pointy tool, but a tool nonetheless.  And he really says the most amazing things, like "Angel Condom".  The writers must have a blast coming up with his lines.

Castiel rocks even harder now.  I can't wait to see more of what happens to him.  From some of the spoilers I've heard it should be interesting.

The fangirl in the episode was frickin' AWESOME.  First she was writing slash fanfiction (which I'm not into, but the fact they're referencing it yet again on the show is funny), and then she got to carress Sam's pec.  I'm not a huge Sam girl, but even I will admit I would love to run my hands over that Adonis like body of his.  So ripply and purty.  I think they're feeding him steroids in those gummy worms he eats.

And I think God is up to something sneaky.  All the angels think he's not been paying attention, I think they forgot a key word.  Omniscience.  Which means there's no way God doesn't have any idea what is going on.  They better be careful when he decides to step in, they might get grounded.

I'm going to have to download the episode and watch again sometime soon :D

This is a fantastic youtube video.  Hitler wants to know what's going on at the Supernatural Panel at Comicon.  Warning there are spoilers for season 5.  And anyone who is part of a fandom will probably enjoy this :)

While I lived under the same roof as my mother, I was lazy.  I always knew that she would pick up the slack.  I'd do the dishes maybe two times a week.  I'd never vacuum unless she needed my help and I never had any problem with the grocery shopping.  Now that it's just me and my two siblings things have changed dramatically.

I've become a cleaning freak.  Today my pet project was scouring off 15-20 years worth of grease that has accumulated on the stove area.  My mom didn't even do that when she was here.  Since my mom has left, not even a full week ago, I have done more cleaning that she would do on average.  I've vacuumed twice, I do the dishes twice every day and I cleaned my bathroom.  Normally the bathroom should be a pretty quick job.  Not so this time.  It took me 4 freaking hours to scour every last bit of my younger sister out of that cesspool.  She had one of those sugaring kits to get rid of hair on her legs, it had spilled all over the cabinet that it was stored in.  Damaged most of the stuff in there.  I hauled out two large garbage bags of junk.  Stuff she'd collected over the years that she'd never used.  I can't believe I put up with it for that long.

Cleaning is a fact of life.  So why am I making such a big deal over it?  No one else is doing it, and when I bring it up they start treating me like I'm the slob and not doing all the work.  I'm working a job, dealing with other things in my life too.  My sister, she wakes up at 3pm, feeds the dogs, does the dishes and watches tv.  That's ALL she does.  Then she puts on this Holier-than-thou act.  It's really starting to piss me off.  Not to mention the changes and the going back to school has majorly stressed me out to the point where I feel like snapping at any point.  I'm going to ask my doctor for happy pills again.

The only thing that seems to be going right is work.  I'm in the top 10, which means I can bring my laptop and I get an extra $200 a month bonus.  Then my supervisor is putting me in for advanced training.  He mentioned to me today that it's not really training, it's a stealth job trial for a brand new position they're implementing. I'd get mucho pay, AND no more customers!!!! Hell YEAH!

So at least one thing is going ok for me.  At least I'm using the cleaning as an outlet for my stress.  It'll only get dangerous when I start trying to clean my teeth with Comet.

TITLE: Supernatural Spa
RATING: T for Teen
SPOILERS: None
Word Count: 1951
SUMMARY: A haunted spa that Sam and Dean must investigate.
A/N: Written for losingntrnslatn 's 1hour2write  com. I used the August challenge, picture #2.  Beware, it's silly, unbeta'd stuff.  I'll eventually get around to making sure the grammar makes sense and stuff, hell, I may even add onto it.  But for now, it's to be posted here until I decide what to do with it.

 

( Supernatural Spa )

So I've been putting together a workout regime for myself. With my sore joints and muscles I figure swimming is going to be the best way for me to tone my muscles. That and I have a LOT of experiencing swimming and although I am very out of practice I consider myself an advanced swimmer.

Since I've been doing my research I've also ran into a very interesting thing. Runners and swimmers do not like each other. Both sing praises about their sport and diss the other. It's vicious!

But I will not get into that, all I am going to say is I think swimming is the preferable sport for out of shape fat people. Partially because it is very easy on your joints, also if you know how to swim you can jump right into any stroke and start working out. Running you have to already be somewhat in shape to do effectively. I don't know about you but I can't run for a few minutes without needing to stop.

Plus swimming is fun! You don't realize you're sweating because all of the water, and there's water! Yay!

The only downside, and it's a bit of a catch-22, is that you have to wear a swimsuit. Larger people tend to have low self esteem when it comes to clothing. Swimsuits are very revealing. But without some kind of exercise you're not going to look better in a suit. For myself the shame dissipates as soon as I'm in the water. So if I can jump in while everyone's backs are turned, yay for me!

This whole swimming fixation started when we went to Phoenix. There was a pool in the hotel and we'd go at about 11pm to swim. Martha, my younger sister who NEVER says anything nice, and who is also vain and self absorbed actually commented that my suit looks pretty good on me. I just about died right there. First she was looking at my wearing my suit and second I didn't repulse her. Holy frickin' cow!!

For my job Ihave access to millions of residents of Southern california. As a result we often get calls from really famous people. Then we have their personal info. Granted I would NEVER give out that information, but it can be cool knowing you have that privledged information. And I' got to share this. Jensen Ackles has our service! I'd never violate his privacy, but DAMN why do Ihave to be such an ethical person?

When I was younger we spent a summer in North Dakota.  That was a glorious summer.  There was a pirate map, treasure buried on an island (there were ring pops!), fishing, singing to fish, my dad catching a HUGE fish that was nearly as tall as me, my first Star Wars memory and then the 4th of July.  Overall a very important summer towards the development of Me.

We stayed with my grandparents in their doublewide 'cabin' at lake Sacajawea (People from ND pronounce it Sacaca-wee-a, not that pussy phonetic way most people say it).  At the cabin there was an immaculate green lawn that was cool on my bare tootsies, smelled great and was a blast to cut on Grampa's riding lawn mower.  We could walk down a dusty path down a huge hill to the dock, where Grampa's boat was kept.  I told him it was Marvelistic and he loved the name so much he got it painted on the side of the boat.  We'd go out on the boat fishing, and I remember my dad catching the largest fish I've ever seen that year, and another smaller one that hemoraged and bled out over everything.  At first we thought my dad had cut himself, but it was just a poor eviserated fish.

Some friends of my Dad came to visit for a while too.  They had a daughter my age, Jenny.  She's actually an officer in the Army now, went to West Point and everything.  But that week we were hunting for pirate treasure.  I don't know what sparked it, but our parents got us pretty excited with tales of pirates that used to sail the lake.  One day the wind had picked up, it was going to storm.  In a few hours the ground would shake from the booms of thunder.  They were the kind of storms you could feel in your bones.  We were excited and everything felt dangerous.  With bandanas tied around our heads we ventured out, and I found a piece of burned parchment on the ground. 

The pirates had painstakingly created a map of the area using crayon and ballpoint pen.  No doubt there had been a fire on their ship and the edges of the map were blackened and there was a hole in one corner.  Jenny and I didn't have a clue as to where the map would lead us, but fortunatly we had Grampa's boat and our parent's as a guide.  The next morning we loaded up the boat and headed towards the island the map pointed us to.  The island was barren, covered only in prarie grass and some brambles.  Following the map we discovered dinosaur bones the pointed in an arrow towards a small hill, but we were cut off from it from a huge bramble thicket.  The map indicated it was dangerous, a lesson we learned the hard way when Jenny's father was sucked into the brambles and had to be hauled out by my dad.

As we neared our destination I was struck by a sudden fear; we were moments away from where the pirates had hidden their treasure, what if they had cursed it?  Or booby trapped it?  Hell, they could still be on the island watching the treasure.  I forced my dad to uncover the pile of rocks that hid the jar that was filled with our treasure.  In the jar was a collection of coins and rings, all edible, and a few pretty fans that they likely stole from some wenches.  Our adventure for the day over we headed home, and since that day I have steadfastly believed that pirates still haunt the waters of lake Sacajawea.

Over the next few days we visited family, one of them my cousin Jon.  The June weather had gotten very hot, so we decided to stay inside where his parents had the luxury of central air.  I lay back on the couch, upside down, my feet propped up on the backrest and my head hanging off the couch.  I believe this is why my memories of the Empire Strikes Back is so surreal.  Watching the antics of Yoda while having the blood rush to your head is a unique experience, a little frightening too.

Back at the lake we geared up to celebrate the 4th of July.  Bottle rockets, little tanks that light up and go spastic, sparklers and all kinds of explosives were present.  That night was a blur of lights, fire and noise.  Since then I've had other 4th of July's at the lake, but that first was a special kind of magic I'll never forget.